oh tombeau...we know each other so well and yet STILL you fight me. Can't you see that I'll just slow you down to a dead crawl and then force you to be even?

This time it's going better, too. Silly Ravel, he must have really had it out for oboists. I'm playing it a lot with my eyes closed and really listening both with and without the metronome to make sure it's even.

Rossini is REALLY FLYING. For real. 120 feels slow. man it's taken long enough! I want to play everything WITH an orchestra now, too, which is always the tell-tale as to whether I can really play something or not. Haha. and La mer - I really like playing it, for some reason - I'm going to have to do some intense listening soon, though, because I think I forget what it actually sounds like with orchestra, which isn't good...

the triplets in the faster part of Don Juan are still a bit uneven, but at least I can HEAR it now, whereas before I was just puzzled and thought they were alright.

I need to not rely on the awesomeness of my current reeds and make some more, post haste. Must not get lazy!!

I've been working on relaxation a lot, too, through everything. It NEVER fails to make things better, faster and more musical, but a lot of times I forget about it. Practicing stuff from memory whilst consciously relaxing my shoulders and upper arms works miracles...now I just need to memorize MORE stuff. Barret is next, I think.

This morning I went out and played some orchestral excerpts for a grade 5 class. I did this before breakfast. It was pretty fun, actually, and I take some comfort from the fact that I was able to play through la scala before breakfast! haha.

I'm having trouble getting off the internet now, though, so I figured blogging about the oboe might jumpstart me...we will see...*makes mental note to drag self to practice room after pressing post*

Second rehearsal for the Puccini was much better, but it ran until 10:55pm. YIKES. I'm making supper now because I am NOT going to buy gross quick food again today...and actually, I couldn't if I wanted since it's past midnight....aaahahahaha.

Reed was a bit tough but damn do I ever like the tone. I think it might just be a little flat but I didn't want to adjust it in rehearsal. I always find that I ruin reeds if I fiddle with them in rehearsal - no light and I'm usually not in the right mindset to really troubleshoot them properly. It's a new rule that I don't think I'll break often no fiddling with reeds in rehearsal...unless absolutely necessary Haha. No rule is absolute, after all!

It's starting to sound like music...now for the staging rehearsals...good god. It's a big orchestra - the pit is going to be very crowded. hopefully everyone will have good grooming habits.

My brain is gone. Time to eat and then sleep.

I just purchased some very delightful purple reed thread and a bit more of the glotin cane that's been so good to me.

working on getting the balance between flexible and reliable down (in life as well as reeds, but mostly in my reeds, haha) and trying to play as many technical studies as I can in between gigs.
Got called in to do two Puccini operas: Suor angelica and Gianni Schichi (sp?) I really, really like the sparse, quirky orchestration, but the first rehearsal was a little terrifying (particularly since it seemed about a third of the orchestra had come down with the flu and so couldn't be there!) Hopefully we'll have everyone for the next one, though.

I've put chamber music aside for a bit. Going to concentrate on just my playing for a bit and wait for the urge to organize crazy things to come back good and strong before doing anything again.

my oboe cracked during one of a series of ridiculously close together rehearsal/concert things - I think it was at the last one, but it might have started before then and only opened up then (the stage lights were REALLY hot, and it had no suction then, and seemed to have more later when it cooled down) but I've had it repaired in record time .

I was ready to have to use a loaner for the first opera rehearsal, but I'm delighted that I don't have to - I think I'll really baby it for a while, though, mostly to make myself feel better, I think. Even though I doubt I really could have prevented it.

My lips are disliking the weather, too, and have decided to crack at both the corners AND where the reed lies....gah. Ah well, I don't feel guilty for not playing today, I've been playing non stop for the last little while - I just hope some of my blanks will turn out tomorrow - I kind of gave up on them tonight as sore lips don't help reedmaking at all.

UUuuugh.

No concentration today. Reeds are feeling good, though!

Seriously, though, I'm working my way through the Barrett book again for kicks and doing the ferling studies when I get bored and....well...I feel like I can't even do arpeggios even right now!!! GAH. So I stopped and had food. Thinking about it...I have only eaten a sandwich and a bunch of coffee today...so it was about time. I think I'll waste a bit more time on the internet and then see if the food has improved my concentration.

The older I get (and I feel a very ancient 27 saying that!!) the more I realize that most obstacles are mostly in my head. Sure, the fact that I can't play a certain passage evenly at a certain speed is physical, but getting myself to practice it in a way that will actually fix it (or practice it at all, sometimes) is definitely a head thing.

I've gone back to my old cane, and surprize I now feel like I can make reeds out of it. They're still not glorious in their finished state, but, like the ones on the fox cane, they work. I think the change has more to do with me having enough time, now, to stop and intellectualize what I'm doing and why.

For instance, I've been getting a stuffy tone in the high notes in quite a few of them, so I put them away for a while, then came back to them and just thinned the tip - the stuffyness went away but they still sound thin and I felt like I needed to pinch them a lot in order to get a decent sound - at first I thought I was pinching because they were flat (I've felt like this a lot with this cane before) but then I took a moment to honestly feel what I was doing with my embouchure and realized I was controlling them to make them sound clearer - and driving the pitch WAYYY up in the process, so instead of clipping I scraped from the back more...and suddenly it was sounding like a reed again!

I've left the four I've been working on from this morning to dry - I have a gig coming up this weekend, so I'd like to have something really nice to play on. I'll probably just try to practice on them for the rest of the day and resist the urge to do anything drastic. Maybe I'll tie some more blanks to distract myself.

Alright, so I've recently moved to using glotin cane from fox using their gouge because what I have been using for the last couple years (alliaud) is just too soft to work for me. Two things have occurred with the change:

1. My reeds feel normal...that is to say they're reacting in a way that makes sense as opposed to with the soft cane where it just would never come up to pitch.

2. My reeds are sharp. Not surprising seeing as I'm using the Joshua shape.

which brings me to the conclusion that buying another shaper tip would be a good decision. I'm thinking of getting the Joshua +2 or possibly the Samson +1. Of course, I'll have to save a little to be able to afford either, but I think that if I just don't buy any more sheet music (at all) for the next two months I should be able to swing it.

Now back to trying to work with what I have.

And coffee. Sweet, sweet coffee.

barret studies, and some Ravel. happy reeds.

I am seriously blown away by having good reeds again. Maybe I actually can play this instrument.

I'm listening to a lot of Mike Patton lately. He's amazing. Listening to the different things he does with his voice is inspiring - I heard everything from balinese kechak to primus and metal style screamings in just one song...and some throat singing-like stuff in another. One day I want to be good enough on oboe to have that kind of flexibility.

Worked on another barret study, some high slurs in 12/8 (forget which number it is) and then the trill-tastic melody one and reeds. I think I'm going to buy another batch of this cane really soon.

Wow. It's amazing how much having bad reeds affects my mood and how I view my playing ability. I just bought a small amount of gouged glotin cane and suddenly I'm coming out with decent reeds. Not amazing reeds, but decent in a way that I haven't been able to touch in AGES.

I do not think I will be going back to that other cane. It was so consistently soft and flat as to be horrendous. And everything I did to fix it seemed to make it worse.

Ugh. If only my gouger weren't on backorder this would be SO MUCH EASIER. 30 bucks for 10 pieces of cane. GAH.

Worked on the bach inventions a bit, and a little of the mozart exposition. I need some sort of plan for how I'm going to approach my technical practice alongside my excerpts.

I have been working the begginning barret studies up in tempo, and also re-working my way through the rest of the book (I never fully finished working on it, due to starting in uni)

I think I will combine one barret study a week with 2 orchestral excerpts. I think I'll have to do a rotational thing with the excerpts because I swear I'm going to go insane if I play tombeau one more time this week. HAha.

Perhaps I'll work on Mozart and La scala for the rest of this week and then see about next week.

Need to book a lesson soon.

reeds are unbalanced. Ugh. I keep not taking enough out of the heart and back because I don't want this super soft cane to go flat, but then I'll clip it and they'll stop working, or they get really close and are not vibrating enough or are sharp and too vibrant. Ugh. I haven't played on a decent reed in so long I almost forget what it feels like.

mostly just practiced on a reed I made last week - it's sharp but easy to practice on and I'd had it with reed issues tonight. Worked on some excerpts and Mozart.

There are a lot of auditions in the states, but I don't think I'm quite ready enough to blow the kind of money that out of the country auditions would require. Shame though...california...haha

I've been making bushels of reeds. I'm so completely not okay with the finished products I've been getting, so it's becoming a bit of an obsession. Also organizing a free chamber music concert down on Granville island for the 21st of August. Should be fun. Playing with a lot of people who haven't played in a long time - it's neat to get people back into playing.

Whilst making reeds I've been going through the studies in the beginning of the Barret book again - really learning them this time - I think it's good for me (can't hurt) and also working on tombeau. Ha.

Ugh. So tired. Working landscaping as well as retail right now and it's making it very hard to practice.

worked on barret studies and reeds. I think my cane is just never going to do what I want it to. All my reeds are soft and the only ones that aren't flat have very small openings.

I'll have to order more gouged stuff, I guess, since my gouger is STILL not here. Grrr.

Reeds. Been making a lot of them. I'm really enjoying this relaxed post-recital period. I'm going to gear up again soon, but I definitely needed some time to just decompress and fool around with the oboe. It's really nice to have time to make reeds without panic, too.

Working through the barret studies again - I feel like I just sort of got through them before, so now I'm taking some time and working out the little issues (like half hole problems and my one collapsing finger in the right hand) as I go. I'll definitely be glad to have some new music, but the study and technique time is relaxing and good for me, too!

got a couple hours in this morning - Went through all the stuff I'm playing with the VMO - they switched the parts around on us so that now I'm playing first, which was a bit of a shock, but rehearsal went well, and I finally got to meet Fleur! Yay!

Worked on the strauss too, trying to let myself relax into the runs and believe that my fingers will remember where they're going (they did, too, for the most part!!) haha. The triplet section is SO MUCH BETTER. I was really worried about it, but it's fine now, and actually fun. The only part that's scary really is the cadenza, but it's getting better, and I can at least get through it consistently!

Now...a reed? Gosh it'd be nice to have a really lovely reed!! Everything I've come out with is too soft or too sharp or too something else entirely! UGH. BUT. I did manage to make it through rehearsal on the soft one, and it wasn't too bad - I mean, it hasn't got a lot of volume, but it is pretty...

I'm tired of pretty, quiet reeds, though! I want something with some oomph to it! GRRRR!!!! Ah well...I've got...5 days....eeeee!

working on bits and pieces of the Loeffler that sort of fell apart a little in rehearsal - couple rhythmic spots with the viola, and the one run on the back page with all the forked Fs and Abs. It's feeling better, but I think I'm going to see if they can give me some time for it because I don't feel like it should be strictly in time.

Strauss...well, the first page is sorted out in my mind - some of the other runs fall apart later on if I'm not really concentrating - more a memory issue than a finger issue and I'm having trouble getting around it. It was seeming like it was getting worse, so I'm taking a ten minute break to blog and sit in the garden, then back to it!

Loeffler rehearsal again today. went pretty well, I feel super rough around the edges, but all the notes are there and I still have time to do polishing.

Worked on the strauss, alexis's piece, Bach and then looked at the music I'm playing with vmo (apparently I'm playing first instead of second now...eek) and The Jenkins Stabat mater - wow...it's a bit...note heavy, but everything falls under the fingers pretty nicely after I figured out the rhythms and stopped freaking out about the number of notes!

pretty much went through everything except the bach on one of the practice reeds (it's sharp but easy) to convince myself it's doable (again). I was going to take a look at some of the music for the gig after my recital after, but I think instead I'm going to work on two of the reeds I've started and look at that stuff tomorrow. I've got so much music right now it's hard to focus on small bits, but I think I'll do some note crunching whilst trying out the new(ish) reeds.